On October 31st, 1998, as my friends and I were getting ready to go trick-or-treating, one of my mom’s good friends came over, her name is Nicky. With her, she brought 2 little bundles of joys, in hopes I would take one.
I believe that my mom knew that I was still grieving from the death of my cat, Mittens. Which is why she agreed to letting me keep both of them. We had a special bond, Mittens and I, even though, my mom was the one that trained her. I believe within her head, I was her baby. It makes sense, I got her for my 2nd birthday.
It was suppose to be a surprise birthday gift from my Uncle. My cousins ruined that surprise when I went to visit them, they at that time, lived across the street from us, I believe it was after school. I would stay with my Godparents and cousins until my mom would come pick me up. They were so happy for me; they thought I had already received her as my gift. They knew for my birthday I wanted a cat. To their surprise, I had not yet received my birthday gift. After finding out, I was so delighted, I got them in a ton of trouble as I couldn’t hold the excitement inside after finding out, I had my very own kitten. As well as, where was it hidden? When was I was going to get her?
I don’t remember much of those years but I remember a few things about her. She was very loving. She was my best friend and I would talk to her about my deepest darkest secrets as well as how my day went. I think, she thought, she was part human. Maybe, that we were part cat? She could be anywhere in the house and could sense when I was sad, lonely or angry. When she sensed this, she would come running and spend whatever time it took till I felt better. During this time, she would snuggle with me until I would stop feeling sad, angry or lonely.
She was very protective of me. I remember moments when she would growl, while I was trying to sleep, at the people coming over. The most memorial moment, was when my cousins from across the street were over. The 3 of us were at the other end of the apartment, checking out my cat's kittens. We mimicked the kittens cries. We did it for such a long time that we pissed her off. She then became so violent, it scared the crap out of us. We all got up and went ran down the hallway in fear of our lives. We were so scarred of this cat that was not only much smaller than us but had no claws. It took a while, but she slowly came around and forgave me. After about 6 weeks, she got over it totally and I became her kitten, again. I still have some footage of her and use to have many pictures but since moving, I lost about 75% of the pictures that were taken. However, I do have a picture I drew of her after she past on, in her loving memory. Drawing her helped with moving on.
I'll never forget the day; Mittens died. It was early that month of October of 1998. I had come home from a day fat High School. I’m unsure of how that day went; when I got home, I sensed something different in the air. I think even my mom knew. She had bought my about 6 of my favourite magazines and had given them to me to cheer me up. Which is what she only did when I was feeling down or depressed.
It was after supper, I was looking through the magazines. Mittens was acting out of character. My mom’s ex-husband and our dog were sitting watching TV. Mittens went to them first. Simba, the dog, and Mittens never really got along. In this moment, what they shared, was like saying goodbye, by rubbing their noses together. Next, the ex, he petted her. Afterwards, she came to my mom and I. We were both sitting in the dinning room at the table checking out the magazines. She went to see my mom, she lied on my mom's pages as normal. My mom petted her a few times and she made her way to me. As she headed towards me, I sensed something was wrong with her, I just didn’t know what. Halfway across the table, I started petting her. She sat and a certain length of time. She got back up. She then headed towards the edge of the table to go back on the floor. Only it was too late, somewhere within that jump and attempt to jump, she had a heart attack. Usually, she lands on her feet but not this time. She landed on her back. As I saw her laying there, I screamed because she didn’t move. After that, everything gets hazy. I remember my fear of death, I couldn’t push myself to touch her and say a final goodbye.
From that point, I’m not quite sure, I remember gaps. I remember searching for the phone book to get a Vet that was open at that hour. I remember my mom held her in her arms, they went to the Vet at night. I don’t know how long they were gone but it felt like several hours. When they came home, they came home without her, it was then that it hit really hard. Even those while she was just laying there; I guess, I didn’t want to believe it. I think a part of me did know that she was gone.
The next day was a school day, I refused to go. I was so hurt inside to want to deal with other people at that moment. My mom told me I should. I forced myself to go to school. All cried out with red blood shot eyes that were so itchy, I walked to school, hoping the redness and itchiness would go away. My friends knew something was up. I didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t until really close to lunch I broke down and I cried several times the remainder of that day, God bless, the people that were there during those times. It was a hard to get through.
I think my mom saw how hard it was for me, I grieved for about 2 weeks straight. Then Halloween night came along.
…. to continue this blog, please read “My Little Man” …
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