After 2 crazy months of what I would say was hell. I call it that since moving away from Steve, 7 years ago, life a had a perfect uphill route. I had my cat, which was my baby boy, a job that I was just starting and was going to start having a love life. Even after the love life came ripping down, I bounced back very quickly. Went back to school and starting working with Senior Residences with my mom in Saint-Hubert.
From there, we were on cloud nine for a while. Paying of debts off that had been lingering, saving up money for another car. Life was fabulous. The little bullets that hit us until Dec 2009 were low blows. From being scammed, car repairs, having our salaries reduced, going on unemployment for about a year and more car repairs were little nothings, looking back at them all now. Those little blows, never prepared me for the last 2 months. The first strike was having to scrap my car.
It was painful on 3 levels. 1-Fond memories and she was mine, 2- the great lifestyle of up a go, whenever wherever, no need to really plan around the STM transportation system. Especially since, most of the out and about that I did, where usually either really far away or really late at night. The people it allowed me to help out, go see and stay in touch with. Lastly, 3- She was my stress reliever. At any point in time, when I was stressing, I would get into the car, pump the sound up, and just drive, sometimes for hours. It was amazing how therapeutic it was for me. Then the dryer broke down again. I’m not sure of the problem. It isn’t that big of deal since we have found away around it. After I had gotten over that, which was simple, I kept thinking of how much good my car has done for the Kidney Foundation Canada, I donated it to them to scrap it for me. I thought it was just about a matter of time before the universe would bring me a pick up. It did. I started working at Best Buy.
About a few days in, I realized I had lost the love I had once of being a cashier. To the point that I despised it. I would recommend anyone going to school, who loves electronics to apply at Best Buy. Or if you have a very low budget. Otherwise, forget it. I can’t complain that much about Best Buy, from their concept of team work, jokes, the employees’ room and the pay, it wasn’t that bad. I was use to a higher pay and it was harder paying off the bills that month, as I usual do. It helped to have our first ever, since Steve, family gathering, with the help of those that helped pay for things. A good Christmas. After being fired, which was my delight, I wasn’t at all prepared for the month of January 2010. Looking back, being fired was the best solution. There was no way I could have been in the condition to work.
January started off with a bang, the family gathering. Those that came, little did they know, would be the last time we see my aunt Diane. As far as I was told, and could tell, everyone had gifts to bring home, and everyone had fun. Three days later, my aunt went in to the hospital. She never checked out. The nurses keep my aunt on life support until her daughter Dawn, could get into town from Manitoba. With her flights constantly being delayed. She didn’t make in until early Wednesday morning. Even in death, my aunt was giving. She donated all her vital organs to those that needed. That week, was mostly dedicated to my Aunt, as it should be. From the funeral, wake and then the burial days after. With very little sleep that we for all of us, that week somehow flew by. Things seemed to be on a slow rise to the better, after aunt Diane was peacefully resting in her grave in D.D.O.
Until last week, I was awaken abruptly by my cat, having trouble breathing. Filled with fear and panic, we rushed to find a way to get him to the vet as fast as we could. By the time we had gotten him there, it was already to late. I was already a wreck, when the chilling words, we have to put him down, came out of the Vets’ mouth. I lost all sensation and luckily had a bench to break my fall. I, already scared to watch someone who matters so much to me go from breathing to not breathing, it broke my heart, that I couldn’t be there in the room with him. I’m glad that my mom was at least there. He was what I assumed it would be like to have a son. I was so proud of who he had become and how intelligent he was. That was the worst day of my life. After all this, I was at an all-time low. Already, discouraged from loosing 2 loved-ones, a car and struggling with my current life realities: how I got here and where it was heading to, my finances and my mum.
A few days after mourning the lost of my recent life experience, Squirt, I receive a phone call about a job interview. As they began to tell the details of where to go, time and such, I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Finally, I thought to myself.
My current plan, that I had made about a few weeks prior, was my back up plan. While working the movie Production Business. I needed a back up plan. Staying as a PAB, I knew it was only going to get me so far. After talking to Emploi-Quebec, the decision was to go back to school to retake the PAB course. It sounds weird but in order for me to be able to get into government facilities. I needed a course of at least 280 hours in some cases. Where as I have 105 hours course on my CV. From there, I could go back to school and work part-time to become a Registered Nurse. This work job would enable me to cut out retaking the course, which is a course of 6 to 8 months. By getting this job, I can use the time that I would have been in the course for to save up money for school, as well as paying off my affairs, and maybe get another used but newer car. Instead of going into school already in debt and many unpaid bills, covered by more debt due to school loans and such.
So here, I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Hoping it gets brighter. As I await to see how they analyzed my first interview, which was to see how well everyone works as a team, and see our personalities and how they would get along with their current staff. As I waited for them to let me know of the outcome, my mom and I, yesterday (the 1st of February) adopted a 6 year old female kitty. Her name is Misty. She once belonged to my mom’s friend’s mother. Who then gave it to her daughter, Bev, and now, she is slowly adjusting to our home. I can tell my mom already loves her, and it’s not because she has called her Squirty several times. Misty is just so affectionate and loves to be petted.
Today, the 2nd, after getting home late last night and keeping a watchful eye on Misty. She is taking the transition pretty well. I noticed there was a message on the answering machine. When I heard it, it was the guy from my interview telling me to call him back. He didn’t leave much more of a message than that. So I’m awaiting for 10 am to come up to give a call and find out what’s what. My fingers are crossed hoping, praying and talking to the LOA for this to be my next step to getting the job. I believe there are 5 steps and I can’t help but think and feel what the American Idols feel when they await to see if they have won the chance to the next audition.
So I’m hoping the sun will shine in from the other end of the tunnel. I await as you do, for the next good thing that happens. Even though there are still times, I catch myself crying over my lost, I know that my aunt wouldn’t want me to look back since her finally words to me were, “… since I have to go, have fun for me ...” I’m not sure what Squirt would have wanted, because I never understood a word he said. However, I did understand certain tones in the meows meant things like, I’m happy, hungry, in pain, I’m angry. I’m sure he knew how much I loved him, Judging by what everyone else has told me, that they knew I would take it really hard. I know he’s no longer in pain anymore, and I hope he’s watching over me and is happy. Heck, may be he’s with Mittens and she is showing him the ropes on how things work where they are.
With that said, I need a tissue, I’m signing off until the next blog,
All the best.
Stay strong sweets! I'm praying for you. :)
ReplyDeletexoxo